ICDI Chapter 33: [If you beat Doufu you’re the boss, if you lose then don’t bother Dad and get lost.]

“He called me a dumbass!!”

In Squid’s break room, Doufu said with a reddened neck, “Did none of you guys hear it??”

His teammates shared a look. The coach said, “Maybe you’re too nervous and imagined it…”

“Would I imagine someone calling me a dumbass??” Doufu was so pissed that he laughed.

“Then what?” The team’s manager frowned. “Don’t tell me that you’re going to report it to the LPL and say, ‘When Soft passed me he secretly called me a dumbass even though nobody else heard it, I swear it’s true can you please penalize him’?”

Doufu: “…”

Choking back his resentment made him feel uncomfortable all over, and simultaneously, he was angry at himself for being shocked into silence just now after being insulted, resulting in him not being able to retort immediately. Who the hell would’ve expected Soft to dare to curse at someone backstage at the competition right after he ate a penalty notice.

“Didn’t you say that he was really short?” Doufu interrogated his support. “In reality he’s even taller than me?”

Squid’s support said innocently, “I’ve never seen him in person before either ah, I just saw that all his fans say he’s from the dwarf kingdom… it’s probably because those other people in TTC are too tall, so in comparison he looks shorter?”

“Enough, enough.” The manager interrupted them. “The camera crew is about to come in. If you’re going to talk, then do it back at the base. Doufu, you just got a penalty ticket last season, restrain yourself a little and don’t make trouble. If you end up getting suspended, then nobody needs to think about playing anymore.”

In TTC’s break room.

“I almost went and punched him just now!” Xiao Bai rolled up his sleeves, showing off his meaty fist. “Good thing I held back.”

Pine took off his hat. “Oh really, how come from my point of view you didn’t even dare to meet Doufu’s eyes then.”

“What BS!”

Today was the opening ceremony for the spring season, so even the LPL teams that weren’t competing today arrived at the competition venue.

Someone knocked on the break room’s door, and a staff member peeked in to inform them that the opening ceremony would be starting in ten minutes.

Before the competition began, every participating team had to send a player to represent them on stage for the opening ceremony. The chosen player was usually the team’s core, and naturally, their team representative was Lu Boyuan.

The makeup artist stepped forward carrying a bag, but Lu Boyuan rejected it.

“Can’t stand the smell, no makeup.”

The makeup artist didn’t take offense and glanced back at Ding-ge. Ding-ge said, “Whatever he wants, it’s the same whether he does it or not.”

Not long after Lu Boyuan followed the staff member out, the livestream was connected.

Jian Rong looked up from his phone and watched the television screen as every major team’s representative was introduced onstage.

The order for entering was based on last season’s rankings, and the higher the placement, the later they came on. Since they were all the teams’ core players, the cheers in the arena continued wave after wave, never stopping a single time.

After they finished introducing the first fourteen teams, the stadium’s atmosphere reached its peak.

The host’s voice was loud and clear. “Next, entering the stage is our LPL’s veteran, top-ranked team, TTC, Road—”

Instantly, the screams overturned the roof, so excessive that they could even hear it clearly backstage. His popularity surpassed the other players’ by several times.

Lu Boyuan walked out from backstage, the camera focused on his face. An unknowing passerby would even think that the event had changed to some runway show.

As the host gave his introduction, he walked over to the position that had been arranged in advance. His shoulders were broad and his legs were long, and he looked like a crane amidst a flock of chickens when he stood next to the other professional players, completely superior.

Prior to this, when Jian Rong watched the competitions, he would always drag it out until the actual matches began before he started streaming. He had never watched any opening ceremony before.

Now, he sat there hugging his equipment bag, his chin slightly raised as he very earnestly watched the proceedings.

“Too tragic, Kongkong is too tragic. He actually got placed next to my ge.” Xiao Bai shook his head and clicked his tongue before he turned his head to discover Jian Rong staring at the television unblinkingly. He said, “Jian Rong, look, isn’t the atmosphere of your debut grand enough?”

The camera switched to PUD’s core top laner 98K as he walked on stage.

Jian Rong retracted his gaze and lowered his head to play with his phone. “It’s not my atmosphere.”

Lu Boyuan came back very soon. After the players exited the stage, the commentators immediately took their positions.

Yuan Qian was in the middle of playing Fight the Landlord1. He raised his eyes and was startled when he glimpsed Jian Rong’s phone screen. “Xiao Rong, we’re about to compete and you’re still looking at Weibo… aren’t you just psyching yourself out.”

Ding-ge’s gaze swept over like a machine gun.

“I’m just taking a look, they won’t affect my mentality.”

Right after Jian Rong said that, he came across a new comment.

[Love Doufufu The Most: What a joke, you only dare to say something rude because you’re relying on the fact that you have a teammate like Road, right? Who knows if TTC got blinded when they were searching for a new mid laner, or if they just temporarily found someone to round out the numbers? And also, even if TTC wins this match, it won’t have anything to do with a dumbass streamer like you? Doufu always carries match after match, earning MVP until his hands are tired from accepting it. Can a fake streamer like you do that?]

Ding-ge clapped and said that it was time. He told them to tidy up their clothing and get ready to go on stage.

Jian Rong typed a few words in reply before he handed his phone off to Ding-ge and followed Lu Boyuan out.

It was one thing to watch a competition from in front of his computer, and it was a completely different matter to actually sit on the stage.

Jian Rong’s first reaction when he went up was: it’s bright.

The lights everywhere else were dimmed; only their competition stage was lit up.

What Jian Rong didn’t know was just how diverse the official livestream’s barrage became the moment he appeared on stage—

[Ahhh God Lu is so handsome today as well, I’m licking licking licking QAQ]

[WTF, Soft doesn’t look any different from the way he does in his streams?? I always thought that he had on a beauty filter…]

[This bluenette – really blinding.]

[How come I feel like something’s a little off about this dumbass today?]

[Me too! But I can’t pinpoint it.]

[…grew taller?]

[Damn, he really did get taller. That’s impossible, before this dumbass only reached Lu Boyuan’s waist…]

[Ah? Isn’t it too much of an exaggeration to say the waist? How do you all even know.]

[I saw that picture where he was being carried like a dead pig by Road.]

[There’s no way he can grow so much all at once, not even a pig can have a growth spurt like this!]

[This won’t do, let me go check out that photo again.]

Jian Rong stared fixedly ahead all the way until he got to the seat in the very middle, which belonged exclusively to the mid laner. He pulled out the chair and sat down before putting on his headphones.

During every competitive match, the seating was fixed according to the order of top laner, jungler, mid laner, ADC, and support. As a result, Lu Boyuan and Pine were both sitting next to Jian Rong.

Jian Rong sat there for half a minute before he couldn’t help but furtively tilt his head and glance to the side.

Lu Boyuan’s sleeves were pulled up to his elbows, and his eyes were lowered as he inspected the competition account.

His fingers rested on the keyboard without using force. One time when a cameraman was filming a close-up shot, they had given Lu Boyuan’s hands a special feature. After that, the special feature had been screenshotted by the fans and had been widely circulated. Every time a popular topic about “hand control” appeared on the internet, Lu Boyuan’s picture would show up without fail.

“Jian Rong.” Lu Boyuan’s voice came through his headphones.

Jian Rong subconsciously answered, “Ah.”

“You can’t look at me like this during a competition,” Lu Boyuan explained mildly. “You’ll be called out for spying on a teammate’s screen.”

“…” Jian Rong shamefully and stiffly turned his head forward again. After quite a long pause, he said, “Okay.”

Once Jian Rong finished inspecting the game account, he heard Yuan Qian say, “Xiao Rong, the match hasn’t started yet, so you can wear your headphones a bit more loosely.”

Jian Rong asked, “Why?”

“That way you can hear what the commentators are saying.”

After receiving his teammate’s reminder, Jian Rong got a bad feeling. He slightly tugged off his headphones and heard his own ID.

Commentator A: “People probably aren’t very familiar with TTC’s new mid laner. Before, Soft was a streamer, but it’s clear from his promotion straight to a starting position after signing with TTC that this new player’s strength is impressive. Today can be considered Soft’s debut match, opposing the other veteran team YY. I feel like there are still a few things to look forward to in this match—”

“Be careful of what you say, what do you mean by ‘a few’? Everyone has been looking forward to this match ever since the competition schedule was announced, okay?” Commentator B paused after saying that. “Actually, I personally have a very deep impression of Soft.”

Commentator A: “Oh? Why is that?”

“…as everybody knows, Soft often ‘analyzes’ professional players in his streams.” Commentator B smiled. “In fact, his scope of business is quite wide. I’ve had the fortune… to be analyzed by him before too.”

Commentator A was amused, and he asked curiously, “What did he analyze?”

“During the previous spring season, there was a match where I accidentally had a slip of the tongue a few times. In his stream, Soft proposed a valuable suggestion to our LoL commentator division.” Commentator B said, “He amicably raised an inquiry to the division, asking why they dared to allow a temporary worker go on stage and commentate on an official competition.”

The entire stadium roared with laughter.

Jian Rong: “.”

“Just who exactly have you not provoked before? Have you analyzed the hosts before?” Yuan Qian laughed and said, “I feel like the commentator is going to make things difficult for you now.”

There was a huge video camera in front of Jian Rong, and he said expressionlessly, “Up to him.”

Commentator A: “Pfft… Soft truly is a player with quite a personality. Not only that, but his fans also have a very unique style. For example, their support banners that they made for Soft today…”

It was too obvious that Commentator A was trying to hold back his laughter, to the point that everyone else couldn’t help but glance towards the audience.

Support banners?

Just what kind of support banners could that group of dumbasses from his livestream room have?

With that doubt in mind, Jian Rong also looked towards the audience. After he saw his own support banners, he felt like he had been struck by lightning and charred on the spot.

If they were talking about support, then Lu Boyuan’s fans were still the strongest. All sixteen teams were at the stadium today, but Lu Boyuan’s support banners still occupied half of the space.

Jian Rong had very few “fans,” but his support banners were more amazing than anyone else’s. Amidst a crowd of “LPL’s #1 Jungler Road,” “Road is on the way,” “TTC get off work earlier,” and “Doufu baby fighting,” his fans rose above all the rest—

[Daddy’s here, play well.]

[You’re the wildest in this field so green, you’re the dwarf kingdom’s ultimate king.]

[Tonight there are only two endings for Soft: winning or deleting his account]

[If you beat Doufu you’re the boss, if you lose then don’t bother Dad and get lost.]

Jian Rong withdrew his gaze and asked seriously, “Can I tell security to kick someone out?”

“You cannot.” Ding-ge laughed in spite of himself. “Enough, it’s about to start. Play well so you don’t have to delete your account.”

Two minutes later, both teams verified that their equipment and accounts were in good condition, and the game entered the pick/ban phase. 

“Who to ban?” Yuan Qian asked, as he was the first to ban in their team.

As one of the LPL’s top teams, not only did TTC have outstanding players, they also possessed formidable coaches.

The notebook in Ding-ge’s hands contained the fruit of the coaches’ labor, after they stayed up late for many days watching video recordings and researching.

He said, “The first three should prioritize banning Aphelios, Ezreal, and Zoe. Only Squid’s bot lane is relatively troublesome, so we’ll focus on targeting them. This round’s counterpick will be Jian Rong’s.”

 Counterpicking referred to how the very last person to go could choose to ban a champion advantageously for their own team or for the purpose of restricting their opponents, based on the other side’s team composition.

Squid banned Lee Sin, Nidalee, and LeBlanc.

Xiao Bai clicked his tongue. “How come these people always ban the same champions every time?”

Yuan Qian chuckled. “Don’t think about it anymore. As long as the current meta doesn’t change, these two champs will probably end up staying banned for another season again.”

Lee Sin and Nidalee were the jungler champions that Lu Boyuan was best at. For every single team that they competed against, these two champions were almost always banned.

Especially Lee Sin. Because this champion was way too abnormal under Lu Boyuan’s control, he wasn’t able to play him a single time during the summer season.

Lu Boyuan was long since used to it. He said, “You guys snatch up whatever you want to play, I’ll choose after seeing the team comp.”

The first few to choose all behaved normally, all the way up until Doufu suddenly chose the champion Draven, causing the entire audience to scream.

Draven was an ADC with extremely high damage in the early-mid game, but at the same time, he was also a fairly cumbersome champion. He constantly had to catch his axe, and he also didn’t have any survival spells. No matter where this champion appeared, there were only two outcomes—slaughtering until he transcended godhood, or dying until he transcended ghostdom.

“What are you doing?” Squid’s coach was startled. “Could you discuss with me before you choose your champion—”

“I can play him well, relax.” As Doufu rapidly and skillfully adjusted his runes, he couldn’t help but shoot a glance at the “TTC ་ Soft” on the other side.

ADCs were too weak in the current meta. His goal was precisely to choose a champion that could outplay as well as extinguish the opposing mid laner on the spot.

His goal was precisely to make Soft debut and retire simultaneously, so that he would slink back to being a streamer with his tail between his legs.

“Draven?? Is it really Draven?!” Commentator A was stunned. “Draven isn’t suitable in the current meta ah!”

“I know that Doufu’s Draven is pretty good. At first, he became well-known because of his Draven…” Commentator B paused. “But I also don’t really understand his choice here. Maybe it’s because he wants to prove himself?”

“Dumbass.” Xiao Bai was delighted, and he couldn’t resist adding another line in their voice chat. “This round’s going to be hella easy. Jian Rong, just pick Twisted Fate or something, we’ll blow him right out of the water in early-mid game…”

“Coach.” Jian Rong said in the voice chat.

Ding-ge, “What?”

“I want to play Zed.”

TTC’s team voice chat was silent for a few moments.

Xiao Bai almost wasn’t able to hold back blurting out another “dumbass.

Zed was a mobile and high damage champion that had no CC or late game viability. His specialty was one-shotting glass cannon ADCs and, likewise, he was also either an extremely godly or extremely damning mystical creature. Players called him “Child Zed.”

Although his skills and positioning weren’t very similar to Draven’s, in the current meta, both of them were good brothers in the gutter together. Neither of them could afford to be disdainful of the other.

Lu Boyuan was the first to speak. His voice was calm. “The reason.”

Jian Rong thought for a few seconds before replying, “In total, the number of Dravens I killed using Zed last year in the Summoner’s Rift is enough to circle the earth twice.”

Everyone: “………”

They were all entertained by that comment, and even Ding-ge tightened his lips in laughter.

“But you can play just as well using Twisted Fate, and more stably to boot. After reaching level 6, you can fly straight to the bot lane and still kill him…” Ding-ge said, “It’s very risky to play Zed.”

It wasn’t Jian Rong’s turn to pick yet, and he silently scrolled through the champion list without saying anything.

“Really want to play him?” After a moment, Lu Boyuan spoke again.

Jian Rong let out an “en” that was neither light nor heavy.

In the arena, the commentators were still analyzing Doufu’s Draven pick.

Commentator A: “Choosing this Draven really did catch me off guard. In that case, it’s very obvious that Squid will have to play protecting Draven this round. In comparison, TTC’s team composition is quite standard. Road chose Graves, a pretty good decision. All that’s left is seeing what champion Soft will pick—I… huh??”

An unfamiliar but also familiar portrait lit up in Soft’s champion list, and Commentator A almost let his “what the fuck” slip out.

The audience was also stupefied—

Soft preselected Zed.

Commentator B was stunned for two seconds before he instantly smiled and picked up where his colleague had left off. “Soft’s Zed can also be considered the champion that made him famous, and he’s quite good at playing him. However, nobody would choose Zed during a competitive match like this. After all, this champion doesn’t have any CC whatsoever, and it’s also extremely, extremely difficult to one-shot someone during a competitive match where players are coordinating together. In addition, this match is Soft’s debut, he’s definitely aiming for stability. Soft is most likely just temporarily picking Zed to scare Doufu a bit—TTC chose Zed??????”

Only to hear a thunk as the champion Zed was selected and TTC’s team composition was fixed.

Both commentators shared a look with each other, their eyes full of shock and disbelief.

WTF?

Zed and Draven? Were they commentating on the spring season here or a Diamond ranked game???

There was another difference between Zed and Draven: even though Zed never went on the competitive stage, he had always been a popular pick in ranked games. With Zed locked in, the stadium and livestream barrage immediately exploded!

After the champion selection was finished, the coaches shook hands and went off stage.

Ding-ge just stepped down when another coach in the team instantly scooted over. “Ge, Soft—”

Ding-ge: “I know that he didn’t make a good choice this time, but this is his debut, so the others said to respect his decision. It wasn’t appropriate for me to say anything either—also, this is a BO3 format. If we lose this round, we can make up for it in the next two. Of course, I don’t necessarily think that we’re going to lose…”

“No, ge, I wasn’t going to talk to you about that.” The other person hastily interrupted him.

Ding-ge said, confused, “Then what?”

The other person handed his phone over.

It was a reply that an internet user named “Love Doufufu The Most” had left in Jian Rong’s comment section. Originally, this person had been fighting with Soft’s fans, but later, because they couldn’t out-argue the fans, they decided to shade Soft himself, who they thought wouldn’t retort back—

[Love Doufufu The Most: What a joke, you only dare to say something rude because you’re relying on the fact that you have a teammate like Road, right? Who knows if TTC got blinded when they were searching for a new mid laner, or if they just temporarily found someone to round out the numbers? And also, even if TTC wins this match, it won’t have anything to do with a dumbass streamer like you? Doufu always carries match after match, earning MVP until his hands are tired from accepting it. Can a fake streamer like you do that?]

[TTC ་ Soft: I, your daddy, really can do it.]

A long, long time later, this Love Doufufu The Most responded again.

Ding-ge glanced at the time. They probably only found the confidence to run back and reply after they saw their Doufu pick his favorite champion Draven, while Soft chose a Child Zed—

[Love Doufufu The Most replied to TTC ་ Soft: Okokok, a freeloading mid laner is so amazing. If you can do it then I’ll chop off my head so you can kick it:)]

Seeing Ding-ge’s expression get worse and worse, the other coach asked, “…should I delete this comment?”

The game officially began, and the cheers coming from the stage were deafening.

Ding-ge lifted a hand and pinched the bridge of his nose before he turned and walked swiftly towards the break room. He said through clenched teeth, “Don’t delete it.”


Translation Notes

  1. An extremely popular card game that you can play online in China. If interested, here’s the wiki. ^

Yan: This is indeed the scene from the summary, though some of the dialogue has slightly changed! Jian Rong is truly creating an unforgettable debut lolol. 

Also, the author mentions this in a much later chapter, but since we’re starting to get into the competition stuff, I’m just gonna bring it up now. Obviously ICDI isn’t based off of current league meta, since things are always changing fast with updates and patches. The author says that readers should just consider this as a separate meta that the author has come up with, so take everything with a grain of salt (like using Zed in pro play).

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13 thoughts on “ICDI Chapter 33: [If you beat Doufu you’re the boss, if you lose then don’t bother Dad and get lost.]

  1. Danielle Langga

    Rong’s fans are so cutee!😻

    Translator, I have noticed that you’ve been updating everyday recently. As much as I love it, but please don’t overwork yourself! ♥️

    Liked by 6 people

  2. Cat Naps

    I don’t want rongrong to lose, but.. he’s seems too reckless and can’t consider the big picture. Maybe losing once and getting flamed will stabilize him… but it’s too early for that.

    Like

    1. Haiße

      Nah, I think he’s fine. First, unlike that Doufu or whatever, he actually asked for permission first before picking it. Second, when Ding-ge wanted to deny his request, JR almost gave up until LB and the other TTC members gave permission

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Raikiri

    Soft fans are a delight xD Jia you TTC! Time to wipe the floor with Squid and silence all the naysayersss.

    Thank you for the new chapter ❤ Awesome work as always~

    Like

  4. ASOI

    Every time Rongrong’s fake height is mentioned, I’m cringing. I feel a set-up for a reveal in my bones. At least the other times he’s exposed, it’s an accident, but this time, he set himself up, LOL. I’m getting second-hand embarrassment in advance… Soft is a little fool.

    Liked by 1 person

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