ICDI Chapter 44: I can’t beat him.

Thank you to Kitty for the Ko-fi!

While pre-picking champions, it was possible to see what skins your teammates chose. Jian Rong remembered that before he had adjusted his runes, Tang Qin had been using the rare “PAX Twisted Fate” skin, not this 45 yuan couple skin.

Who would’ve expected them to match into a game with people they knew even while playing on Lunar New Year’s Eve. Jian Rong pulled up his teammate’s profile and took a glance at it. Tang Qin was a Diamond 1 player, and although her win rate wasn’t that high, it was still 53%. Her frequently used champions were all mid laners, so she should’ve been the one to climb up the ranks herself.

This game, Jian Rong was playing top lane Kalista. He absent-mindedly bought his items and walked out of the base. “Should we level 1 team fight?”

Lu Boyuan seemed to be occupied with something on his end, and he only answered a few seconds later. “No, they have Caitlyn and Blitzcrank. You can go to your lane.”

Jian Rong let out an “oh” before he turned around and walked towards the top lane.

[Xiao Tang Also Wants To Carry: Aren’t you guys really rather working too hard? Still duo queueing and training even on Lunar New Year’s Eve?]

Though she said “you guys,” it was obvious that she was just asking Lu Boyuan. Because he wasn’t familiar with her, Jian Rong didn’t reply.

As time dragged on, the sound of typing never came through his headphones.

A long while later, Lu Boyuan asked in voice chat, “Did you eat lunch already.”

“I did.” Maybe it was because before leaving, Ding-ge had instructed him countless times to eat properly, but Jian Rong added without thinking, “I ate noodles, with a poached egg.”

Lu Boyuan chuckled. “…how luxurious.”

Jian Rong was about to say something else when a message suddenly popped up in the chat—

[[All] Kongkong: Soft, what a coincidence, you also got placed into the top lane?]

[[All] Kongkong: God Lu and Tang Qin-jie are both here too ah… Happy new year, happy new year. Should I just straight up hand my points over this game and forget about trying?]

Jian Rong was startled. Only then did he realize the opposing top laner was actually Kongkong.

As two professional mid laners who both queued into the top lane, it was indeed coincidental.

[[All] TTC ་ Road: Happy new year.]

[[All] Just Watch My Gameplay: Then vote to surrender at 15 mins.]

[[All] Xiao Tang Also Wants To Carry: Kong, thankfully you aren’t playing mid, or else I’d be the one handing my points over…]

[[All] Kongkong: Can’t surrender, my teammates said they’re going to carry. Jie, what are you saying? Thankfully I’m not playing mid, you’re duo Q’ing with God Lu right now, if I play mid wouldn’t I just be ganked to death by him.]

[[All] Xiao Tang Also Wants To Carry: I’m not~ he’s Q’ing with Soft.]

Kongkong was playing Camille. Originally, he and Jian Rong were peacefully standing at the opposite ends of the lane staring at each other, neither side interfering with the other. But as soon as he sent that message, Jian Rong charged forward and threw a spear at him.

[[All] Kongkong: ???]

[[All] Kongkong: You learn your Q at level 1 when playing this champ?]

[[All] Just Watch My Gameplay: Got a problem?]

[[All] Kongkong: Nope.]

Lu Boyuan killed the red buff. “Can you beat Camille?”

Jian Rong didn’t even think about it. “I can.”

Actually, Jian Rong’s champion was a little restrained by Camille. Camille’s passive shield was amazing for dueling, and regardless of whether it was before or after level 6, she could gain the advantage as long as she seized her opportunities.

Even though Kongkong didn’t really know how to play top lane, he felt like he could still rely on his champion to restrain and beat Jian Rong.

Five minutes later, his fantasy was shattered. His health was pitifully beat down by Jian Rong until only a shred remained, and he rushed back under his tower. He couldn’t help but type out a question, completely dumbfounded.

[[All] Kongkong: How come you even know how to play Kalista??]

[[All] Just Watch My Gameplay: Stream request]

[[All] Kongkong: ?]

[[All] Just Watch My Gameplay: Before, in order to earn money, the water friends could designate what champion they wanted me to play if they sent gifts. To tell you the truth, the champion I’m actually best at is Teemo.]

[[All] Kongkong: ………]

The announcement of Lu Boyuan killing the enemy jungler and getting first blood sounded. As Jian Rong went back to base, he couldn’t resist switching to Lu Boyuan’s POV to take a look. Evelynn just got a kill and still had half her health remaining; Lu Boyuan was in the middle of killing the Rift Scuttler in the upper part of the jungle.

[Xiao Tang Also Wants To Carry: Are you two in voice chat together?]

A long while later, Lu Boyuan responded with an “in-game voice chat” only after he finished clearing out the enemy’s jungle.

[Xiao Tang Also Wants To Carry: Oh oh. Hurry and come to mid to help me gank a few waves, it’s a little hard for me to beat the enemy mid laner…]

Although Jian Rong wasn’t at a disadvantage, he didn’t have a large advantage either. Kongkong played very cautiously, and combined with Camille’s high mobility, nobody had died yet in the top lane at level 8.

When he saw that message, he couldn’t help but shoot a glance at the minimap. Lu Boyuan was already on his way to the mid lane.

Jian Rong stared at it for a few seconds before the sound effect of Camille’s skill suddenly came from his headphones.

Kongkong had just finished consuming two health potions. When he saw that Jian Rong was distracted and had messed up his positioning, Kongkong instantly tried to use his E to dash up and take down the third of Jian Rong’s health that was still remaining.

Jian Rong reacted extremely swiftly. He didn’t have much mana left, and he quickly calculated in his head the amount of damage that he could output in this wave. After confirming that there was no way to counter-kill Kongkong, he didn’t hesitate to retreat.

The moment he turned around, he saw the enemy jungler’s Nidalee appear behind him. Jian Rong’s eyebrows furrowed, and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to escape this time.

The enemy top laner and jungler forced him into the recess by the path. Jian Rong continuously relied on his champion’s built-in bouncing around to skillfully reposition himself, but unfortunately the space in the recess was too small. Not even someone using scripts would be able to outplay here. After dealing a few seconds of damage, Jian Rong pressed his lips together, already prepared to see his screen go gray.

At the same time as he was CC’d by Camille, the sound of a flash came from his headphones.

Evelynn flashed into the crowd and immediately hung a charm on top of Nidalee, followed closely by a burst DPS combo. Nidalee’s health quickly dropped to 30%, triggering the condition needed for Evelynn to deal double the damage with her ult—

[TTC ་ Road has slain I Climb To Challenger For Your Dad]

Jian Rong’s fingers paused.

Wasn’t… Lu Boyuan going to the mid lane?

Lu Boyuan: “Kill Kongkong.”

Jian Rong snapped out of it and didn’t hesitate for a single second, daring to charge forward and spear Kongkong even with barely any HP left. Seeing that, Kongkong gritted his teeth, wanting to exchange a death for a death. He was about to blink over and kill Jian Rong when he was instantly called back by one of Lu Boyuan’s charms—

“Double kill!”

After getting the kills, they stood together and recalled to base.

[Xiao Tang Also Wants To Carry: ………Lu, weren’t you already all the way to mid just now? I was ready TAT]

[TTC ་ Road: Hard to gank Fizz]

[Xiao Tang Also Wants To Carry: Just come~ it’ll be easy to gank him after I trick out his E skill.]

[TTC ་ Road: Depends on the situation, I’m ganking the disadvantaged lane this game]

Jian Rong stared at the two words “disadvantaged lane” for a few seconds before he pensively shifted his gaze away.

At that moment, Kongkong was streaming from his house.

“Soft is too abnormal.” He finished buying items and left the base while harping, “Before God Lu came, I was almost counter-killed by him… but it’s no big deal, jungler daddy said that he’s only ganking the top lane this round. We’ll be fine as long as we wait for our teammates’ assistance. Soft is pretty good at positioning, we…”

When he got to that part, he just happened to enter the lane. After ensuring he had a dependable escape route that he could use to flee safely, Kongkong tentatively moved forward and used his E. It landed.

Forget positioning, the other person hadn’t even moved.

Kongkong: “?”

He dealt out a combo; again, all the skills landed.

Kongkong: “?”

Jian Rong returned back to his tower with minimal health. After consuming a health potion, he cleared his throat and called out, “…Captain.”


Jian Rong said something that he had never once said before in his entire life. “I can’t beat him.”

His tone was utterly flat without any inflection whatsoever.

After profiting for two consecutive waves, Kongkong said, astonished, in his livestream room, “I’ve become stronger?”

Seeing that Jian Rong’s health was so low, Kongkong couldn’t help himself in the next wave. Before his own jungler had even arrived at the top lane, he rushed over to Jian Rong, wielding his grapple.

As a result… he blinked right onto the stealthed Evelynn.

Lu Boyuan effortlessly dazed him, and the minimal health Kalista was as bold as an ox. Relying on the presence of her jungler, she unceasingly jabbed her spear into his face. A few moments later, Kongkong’s screen abruptly grayed out.

It was normal to be ganked. At the base, Kongkong refreshed his items and said, “It’s fine, I’m able to suppress Soft already. I’ll definitely kill him this wave.”

The barrage all said that he was shooting off his mouth.

Up until three minutes later, as they watched with wide eyes as Kongkong perfectly CC’d Kalista next to the wall and nearly swept her away.

Kongkong: “Didn’t I say so, I’ve become stronger… fuck!!!”

A little heart appeared above his head—Evelynn’s Allure skill.

In less than ten seconds, Kongkong was sent back home again.

During the third wave, Kongkong learned his lesson and specially called along his jungler.

“I can kill him this time for sure.” Kongkong said, “In that first wave, Soft seemed to have just gotten lucky. I feel like he’s only so-so at playing this champion, we’re basically doing a 2v1.”

Three minutes later, Evelynn showed up once again at the top lane. Meanwhile, that “so-so” Kalista charged to the very front and avoided Kongkong’s movement-reducing skills while hopping and jumping all over the place and piercing his body full of spears. The moment Kalista ripped the spears from his body, Kongkong perished on the spot.

[[All] Kongkong: ………… @Soft?]

[[All] Just Watch My Gameplay: ?]

[[All] Kongkong: I just want to ask, how are you managing to be suddenly strong and suddenly trash?]

[[All] Just Watch My Gameplay: Oh, I’m an inspiration-type player. Whether I play well or not all depends on my mood during those few seconds.]

Kongkong: “?”

His horizons had been broadened.

[[All] Kongkong: So you’re implying that every time before you go on stage in a competition, your teammates all have to coax you?]

Jian Rong wanted to laugh while reading his own message, and he had just typed out a single word when—

[[All] TTC ་ Road: That’s how it is.]

Jian Rong: “…”

[[All] Kongkong: …incredible.]

Tang Qin glanced at her score: 1/4/1. It was truly a bit unsightly.

She looked at Evelynn, who walked right past her and was the other pair to her couple skin. Her heart felt sour, and she typed something out after a long time passed.

[Xiao Tang Also Wants To Carry: Lu, how about I come and roam with you? Are you still going to the top lane in the next wave? I can immediately fly over with my ult.]

[TTC ་ Road: Let me ask]

Ask what?

Jian Rong had just gone back to base and was buying items. As he left the base, his eyes never strayed from the chat.

“Jian Rong.” Lu Boyuan unexpectedly called his name.

Jian Rong said subconsciously: “Ah.”

“Five kills, 200 CS…” Lu Boyuan listed out his stats and asked, “Can you beat him now?”

Jian Rong pursed his lips guiltily and said after a lengthy pause, “…I can beat him now.”

Lu Boyuan hummed mildly before he typed:

[TTC ་ Road: Not going to the top lane anymore. You should just farm by yourself in the mid lane.]

Wei: (if JR were a Pokemon:) Soft learned a new skill: Act Spoiled!

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11 thoughts on “ICDI Chapter 44: I can’t beat him.

  1. eggcorn

    F in the voice chat she’s not part of for Tang Qin, sorry girl sometimes it just doesn’t work out (because you’re a side character in a danmei and your crush is a flaming homo peacocking for his uwu trashbaby swooning in mid)

    Liked by 14 people

  2. Haha this is so cute. Soft is going to lose all his pride if this continues. He just wants to be loved and cared for!!! Who need pride.

    It also really feels that Road subconsciously spoils Soft because he feels no one else does it and basically whole world misjudges and mistreats him slightly, so he makes up for it in this almost passive agressive way. He vents his positive feelings like this and feels better in turn.

    Liked by 13 people

  3. So cute!!

    When Lu Boyuan replied so fast while Jian Rong has only typed one word, I don’t know why but I get the impression that Jian Rong dug a pit himself and Lu Boyuan is just there watching him in amusement before helping him entering it lol

    Yesss! Please keep spoiling him captain!! That awkward tsundere only want to be spoiled by you!

    Thank you for the great translation! 💙

    Liked by 7 people

  4. Tbf girl, they’re teammates duo Q-ing and you are forcefully intercepting. With god view, we know they’re just casually playing, but as a person in the story, her EQ must be damaged to act as a distraction. What if they are ordered to play casually continuosly to better up their coordination? Yet she was like, I don’t want to change roles. Oh gurl this isn’t injustice, you dug your grave.

    Liked by 1 person

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